Never Too Far
by Wings of Stars
Summary: Yuna/Tidus -- *finished* ::epilogue added::
1. Blue Dreams

A/N: as a cute lil' disclaimer, I own nothing! Nothing but the fluff balls in my head. I hope this sounds as good now as it did in my head. . .

* * * *

Empty. That was the only word for the feeling. It was excruciating, knowing that she couldn't have him back. Knowing that what they'd shared was a limited time offer, and it had expired. The months following his disappearance were caught in a blur. She'd emerged herself straight into the work of getting everyone's lives back to normal. But now that there was nothing to do, she had more time. More time to think, more time to cry.

Yuna had tried every big project she could immerse herself in. She read books upon books, and tried everything that would take her mind away. But everything led back to him.

The sun was setting outside, and her giant bay window was catching the most beautiful view of the gorgeous last shades of deep orange and red, glittering in tiny miracles on the water. But she just lay on the floor, not even facing the window but lying in the glorious shades of light it provided to the already gorgeous room. Translucent aqua-colored material hung all over the walls, creating a feel that the entire room was inviting. The bed stood, messily organized, looking inviting in it's shades of blue and yellow. Every color in this room was a color that reminded her of the ocean. Or of memories of her Tidus, and his element. If she would have had pictures of him, they would have been hung everywhere in this room.

The hardwood floor glossed with the tints of orange and aqua, but she remained still. Her heart was unmoved by the beauty and apparent comfort of her surroundings. Large glass windows and shiny floors weren't anything to fall in love with. The only thing that made her feel was Tidus. He was the air she breathed, and she felt like someone had just shut off her air supply.

Tears ran silently down her cheeks. It was a lonely feeling, more lonely than she could bear. What was the use of standing when she had no one to run to? But she stood anyway, and made her way slowly to the comfort of her bed. Everyone thought she was fine at first, because she'd found ways to focus her energy and use it all up, so the only time she had to think about him was in the only place he existed to her anymore: in her dreams.

Her tears had left a tiny shimmering puddle on the floor, and her pillow was about to suffer the same fate. Like every night since the time when she had nothing left to do, she cried over him. And there was nothing she could do but dream of being with him. To dream and whistle and let her insides scream 'it's just not fair!'. 

"Tidus. . . why did you have to go. . . why? Why was it so easy for you to leave? Why is it so hard for me to stay in one piece without you?" she cried and sniffled and rolled over in her humongous bed. Everything seemed so huge and meaningless.

It was like what Tidus had said. . .something about when a lovebird dies, the other one gives up living to join it's mate. That's what it felt like. She just wanted to be with him, and there was no point in breathing when she couldn't be with him.

"I need you."

* * * *

Tidus stretched out on his favorite patch of grass in the farplane, wondering what Yuna was up to. He didn't often like to peek in on her life, regardless. Every once in a while he'd slip watch her. It was painful, though. He didn't know that heaven was supposed to be that way. He never knew it was allowed to cry. But he was always being reprimanded by his father for doing things like that. He couldn't let her go.

Every once in a while he could hear her voice, speaking to him. It came from six different places, echoing around his head like a distant memory. She hadn't spoken so often at first, but lately he could hear bits and phrases. Everything was painful, and he could tell that she felt it too. The way her voice was always so weak.

Lazily thinking about her now, her voice came. 

"Tidus.. .. Why did you have to go. . to go. . . why? Why was it so easy for you to leave? Why is it so hard for me to stay in one piece without you. . . without you?"

And now it was agonizing for him, tears rolling down his cheeks. He could hear every twinge of pain in her voice. She sounded so worn. She sounded so sad. 

"I need you. . need you. ." her voice echoed in the air around him, although he was the only one who could hear it. With that he sat up and looked around him. He was one of the few who was always in a physical shape. Usually they preferred to wander about shapeless, twisting themselves with their loved ones, and looking like beautiful stardust and feeling so completely peaceful. 

The ones who had been called to farplane early, like himself and children and other teenagers, wandered around trying to find out what happened. He felt kind of silly to be stereotyped with everyone else. Not only was he the star player of the Zanarkand Abes (sort of) he was the guardian who had helped to defeat Sin, once and forever. Maybe it wasn't so bad, after all.

He figured that Yuna was sure to be sleeping soon. Although he didn't need the sleep, he loved to dream with her. It was the only thing they really had together. She didn't know that the dreams were woven by him, but she knew it was the best and only place she could see him. He looked up and around him, making sure Jecht wasn't around (because he considered the dreams silly and a waste of time) before lying back on the grass and falling asleep.

* * * *

Even in her sleep she knew it would be a happy dream as she saw Tidus walking towards her a little shyly, smiling a little and brushing his hair back with his hand. 

He was the reason she slept, and this was the best part of her day: dreaming. 

She whistled, and he came running toward her before throwing his arms around her. 

"This is what we should have had," she whispered.

"Ssssh. . . you don't dream long enough to waste the time on words," he said gently back pressing his lips to hers. . .

* * * *

She opened her eyes the next morning and ran a finger over her lips. Every morning, she could still feel the dream-kisses that had been pressed against her lips. She wiped a small tear out of her eyes and threw the covers off of her legs, determined to get through the day. 

Yuna walked over to the window to look at the water shimmering in it's completely oblivious perfection. It was oblivious to the way she was always aching when she saw it, the way it always lead to thoughts of Tidus. But instead of crying, she decided to put herself together and try to be happy. Even though her conscience told her it wouldn't do any good, she whistled. And every tone screamed in a desperate tone, like a love bird cries out for it's lost mate.

The mirror in her bathroom didn't make her feel as beautiful as it should have. Every time she looked, though, she thought that Tidus must have thought she was beautiful. Tidus must have seen something in that girl. Her hair was a little longer now, but she looked mostly the same. Her eyes were the same, her lips, her face, her body. She looked questioningly at the girl staring back at her as she tied her hair back, leaving a few strands of bangs out. Tidus thought that girl was beautiful, but as she looked all she saw was someone helpless and sad. 

She slammed her hand onto the mirror and looked down, tears falling into the sink. Tiny drops of saltwater slid down the sides of the dark blue marble, and her sobs echoed around her in the turquoise shades of the lonely room. 

"I can't feel beautiful without you. . . Tidus, I need you!" she coughed her words out between sobs, still incredibly ashamed of being so weak. She didn't feel like there was any point left in fighting this battle. She was still losing, and she was losing terribly.

But she stood up straight, and wiped the tears away, and looked one more time into the mirror. She smiled a little, and tried to find some type of honesty through all of the sadness. She failed, and turned to walk out. Down the stairs and out the door, still barefoot, she went to face the day.


	2. Wherever You Are --I'm There--

Tidus sat up and scratched his head. The Farplane always seemed so terrible after dreams. All he wanted was Besaid, and Yuna. He stood quietly and wondered when he was going to get chided by his father or Auron for holding on to the world of the living. Instead all he heard was the voice of a young girl, around six or seven. She had brownish hair and large blue-green eyes. It was a girl Tidus had never met before.

"You like Yuna, huh?" she said in that little girl voice. She looked up at him innocently, pigtails swinging a little. He looked down at her puzzled.

"Hello, what's your name?" he smiled, trying not to let his puzzlement continue to get the better of him.

"Ceres. Your Tidus, huh? You liked Yuna a lot," she said shortly and knowingly. Tidus wondered a little how she knew so much, and wondered what had caused her to die at such a young age. The answer, he already knew, was Sin. 

"Well, Ceres, how do you know about me and Yuna?" he asked, crouching down to look eye level with her. It kind of made him sad, thinking about the way he'd always wanted to be a father but never had gotten the chance.

"Every time you sleep, you say her name. Not very loud, but I know you're saying it," she stayed completely innocent, as though she didn't know exactly how deep things like that went. 

"I'll try to be quieter next time, then," he said cheerfully, standing up and ruffling her hair a bit. She smiled big and he noticed that a tooth was missing, a sign of her young age and innocence. As he turned to walk away, she caught his attention once more time.

"If you like her that much, you should be with her. You should go back." But when he turned to ask her more, she was running off with other young children to play a game of blitzball. He stood, dumbfounded.

"I can't feel beautiful without you. . . without you. . . . Tidus, I need you! . . . need you. . ."

There was her voice again, echoing around his love struck mind like he was in a canyon too big and vast and utterly empty for him to even begin to understand. 

"Yuna. . ." he whispered her name quietly and frustrated-ly. It was so terribly hard for him to know of her to hurt, especially knowing it was his fault. He wished he could have just stayed and never ever left. Sometimes he selfishly even wished that he wouldn't have defeated Sin, and just stayed. But he hated thinking that he wanted to take away all the hope that Spira had. All the peace they'd ever know. 

"You really liked her, huh?" Jecht's voice came from behind him. Tidus hoped he wasn't going to get chewed out for holding on to the living girl when he was so far gone. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Yeah, dad, I really liked her," his voice was a combination of sincerity and sarcasm. Either way, he thought that his dad could have picked that detail up by then.

"That little girl was right. You should go back to her, then. If I had the chance, I would've gone back to you and your mother. I never meant to leave." Tidus said nothing, so Jecht continued speaking as Tidus' gaze dropped to the ground. "I would have quit fighting Sin in an instant. I kind of wanted to raise you, you know? Maybe show you some blitzball moves or at least take you to a game sometimes." There was another moment of awkward silence. "What I'm saying, is although I kind of don't want you to leave, you should go back to her."

Tidus looked up at him wondering what kind of miracle could show him the road back to Yuna. "What are you saying? I can't go back, there's no way to leave the farplane," he said helplessly and skeptically. 

"Umm, err, Tidus, just go talk to the council. They'll explain things better than I can. Besides, they'll be sure to listen to you. You know, you being the big hero around here and all."

With that, Jecht disappeared. That last part about being the hero meant more to Tidus than he could have expressed. He said nothing, though, and pondered the idea of this council.

* * * * 

Yuna walked down through the warm morning sand of the beach. The tide slowly and lazily rolled closer to her unsuspecting feet. She just looked at the sky and tried to focus on being happy. It was hard sometimes. But she had always smiled, even when it hurt so much. She continued to follow suit now, smiling even though it was dishonest, empty, and hurtful. There was somewhat of a bitter sweetness to it, though. Even though the thoughts of him left her mouth feeling sour, she remembered all of the good times. The little ways he always said he loved her, although he never had vocalized it.

It was hard to think about, because her lips still wished for his. And her ears longed for the sound of his voice, and her eyes wanted nothing more than to see him in his sweet perfection.

"You look sad, ya?" Wakka ran up behind her, smiling concernedly and holding a blitzball in one arm. 

"I'm fine, really," she said quietly, smiling and trying to look honest about it.

"You're sure?" Lulu asked, walking up on her other side. Lulu was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, looking a little more comforting and less distant. Yuna smiled.

"Yeah, nothing I can't get through," she smiled again and shrugged. Lulu looked at her, unconvinced. But she decided not to say anything.

"Hey Wakka, you were going to show me that new blitzball move, right?" Lulu looked at him expectantly, as if to drop him the hint that Yuna needed some space.

"Oh, that's right. Yuna, don't stay out here too long. You can come join our game, ya?" Wakka said invitingly, kicking a little sand up. Yuna just smiled yet again.

"Talk to you later, Yuna," and with that, the two were off toward another game of blitzball. Yuna sat in the sand. She liked to watch blitzball, but playing it was different. Every time she played, she felt sort of weird. It wasn't the fact that she wasn't very good, it was more of the fact that blitzball was a part of Tidus. A part of someone that was a part of her. Half of her.

The feeling had scared her when he was still with her. The way that she was only half of herself. That she was so dependent on him. But really, she didn't mind so much. Falling in love really was like that. It was the fact that she couldn't be with him that she did mind. The part she hated.

So she decided to go buy a book and watch the water instead of playing a game that she wasn't very good at, and one that hurt by bringing back all those memories.


	3. Wanting, Waiting, Watching

"Hey, Auron. . . who is the council?" Tidus asked kind of clueless-ly. Auron smirked, walking toward him casually.

"So someone let it slip to you that there's a way back, huh? Well, do you want a straight answer?" he asked. Tidus scratched his head and wondered what Auron was getting at.

"Yeah, I guess I do," he said, unsure of whether he had answered correctly. He blinked and waited for the awkward silence to end. Auron smirked again.

"You're never going to get one."

"So I figured. . ." he smiled, trying to prod it out of Auron. His curiosity was getting the better of him, and patience wasn't helping much by taking the back seat. 

"Anyway, the so-called "council" is made up of past summoners and maester's and sometimes Fayth's who are wise judges and don't make decisions based purely on emotion. You have to make a good impression on them to even get on the road back to Spira, back to your Lady Yuna. And no one's saying it's easy. But if you think it's worth it, you can try, boy. That's all you can do."

Tidus thought his words over for a second. "Do you think it would be worth it, Auron?"

Auron was fidgeting, uncharacteristically at the question. "Well. . . I wouldn't know. . ." he said quietly, trying not to let his expression betray him

"What do you mean? You have to know!" Tidus was frustrated, but then his face changed completely when he realized why Auron didn't know. "You mean, you've never been. . . in love?"

Auron didn't answer. He only responded by turning around and walking away, leaving Tidus alone with every question.

He wondered what it meant, that it wouldn't be easy. He wondered if it was worth it, but felt guilty and selfish knowing that Yuna was back in Spira, crying over him and he was wondering if some price would be too much to pay to make her happy.

The words of the little girl bounced around inside his mind. 'If you like her that much, you should be with her. You should go back.' And the more he thought about it, the more he realized that she was absolutely right.

~*~*~

Yuna dropped the book on the table beside her bed and laid back silently. It was dark outside, but there was apparently a party going on, because firelight flickered into her window. She sighed and rolled her eyes helplessly; everything was a party in Besaid. "At least no one's worrying about Sin," she said. Her voice had a pang of sarcasm in it, but was mostly hurt. Regardless of how great it was that there would be a permanent calm, she felt like it would have been better if. . .

No, all it came down to was that she wanted to keep Tidus. She wrapped her arms around one of her pillows and curled up into a little ball. 

There was a knock on her doorframe and Lulu walked in. It wasn't uncommon for her to just walk in. She knew that Yuna's door was always open to her, and she knew that Yuna needed someone to talk to.

"Hey Lulu, why aren't you out partying?" Yuna asked, propping herself up on one elbow.

"Because I'd rather be talking to you than hanging out with a bunch of drunk guys who were dim-witted to begin with," Lulu smiled and sat on the bed. She stretched out her legs and leaned against a bedpost. "And how about you? Why aren't you out there?"

Yuna laughed. "Because if I was out there I'd be acting about as dumb as the drunk guys." Lulu laughed, and tilted her head to one side still looking at Yuna. "What?" she asked.

"Well, Yuna, I was just thinking. . . nothing worth talking about," Lulu smiled. Yuna gave her a look that said 'I-don't-believe-you'.

"If it's about getting over him and on with my life. . ."

"It's not that," Lulu cut her off. "It's just. . . I don't know. . . I'm thinking crazy again. Maybe I've been hanging out with Wakka too much."

"What are you thinking? You can tell me," Yuna said quietly, sitting up cross-legged. She grabbed the same pillow and held it to her chest.

"I was just thinking that he must think of you. He has to watch over you," Lulu hoped that it wouldn't bring her to tears. Lulu hated to see Yuna so stretched and worn and sad. She smiled a little and held her pillow closer to her.

"Like an angel?" she blinked back tears, and Lulu wondered if she'd said the wrong thing. "I just wish I could have kept him, you know?"

Lulu smiled and Yuna laid down again, still clinging to the pillow. The aqua color tinted the walls and the floor and her face. It seemed like being underwater, and Yuna did look like she was slowly drowning in her sadness.

"Yeah, things can only get better. . . things will be alright," Lulu whispered. There was silence for a while, and Yuna's eyes glittered as she fought back the tears that came with the territory of thinking about Tidus.

"Lulu, I'm kind of tired," she said. Lulu understood the unspoken things that were in her voice and gently whispered goodnight and smiled as she turned and walked out to go get a kick out of the drunk guys.

Yuna lay down in her bed hopelessly and let the tears run. She kind of wished that it wasn't so hard to think about him. And above anything else, she just wanted to have him back.

"Do you watch over me? I don't get it if you do . . . because I always feel so alone," she whimpered the sad words into her pillow and clenched her fists. She wasn't tired, she couldn't sleep, she couldn't go to where he was. So she beat her hands on the pillow next to her and screamed into the muffling of the pillow.

* * * *

"Do you watch over me? I don't get it if you do. . . you do . . because I always feel so alone. . . so alone. . . alone. . ." her voice echoed around in his already-burdened mind. He couldn't help himself anymore and closed his eyes and focused on his love for her. Gradually and slowly, a picture of her appeared in his mind and became clearer and clearer. She was lying on her bed, beating her fists against her pillow, then she slowed her anger and her body shook with sobs. 

She laid crying for a while longer, whispering tragically beautiful things to and about Tidus, calling his name in a hushed voice. She didn't seem to be ashamed to be so in love with him, just terribly sad. He felt like his heart was being rung out like a washcloth, and there was just no escaping the pain that came. He wished as much as she did that they could be together.

It was terrible to know that he was the source of all of her pain and frustration. She didn't know what was worth hanging on to, and he wanted to be there to help her to her feet. He wanted more than anything to touch her again, to smell her hair, to hold her hand, to kiss her lips. He wanted to wipe away the tears gently, and leave love in her eyes.

He watched as she walked into the bathroom and washed her face. It was getting late, and her eyes were puffy with tears and she had purple marks under her eyes from exhaustion. She rested her hands on the edges of the sink and looked up into the mirror, water still trickling along her cheeks and down the tip of her nose. 

Water: his element. 

She smiled, thinking of that time so long ago back at Macalania Lake, when they shared his element. When he kissed her. When he held her so close. It wasn't just his element then, it was their element for that while.

Tidus could tell what she was thinking, and was relieved to see her smiling instead of crying at the thought of him. They hung on to that thought for just a while longer, before Yuna splashed her face with water one more time then jumped in bed and took off her socks. She turned off the light and closed her eyes and whispered his name one more time.

He looked at her, just for a while. The sight of her sleeping was enough to make him smile. The way she wasn't sad, just for a moment, when she thought of him was good for them both. He shook his head and laid back on the grass of the farplane.

'Dreams tonight,' he thought, 'actions from tomorrow until I can hold her again.'

But it was a long time before either of them could fall asleep.


	4. Seeking Freedom

Tidus sat up and rubbed his eyes. It was never morning, it was never afternoon, it was never evening, just always dark with patches of light hanging in the air like lanterns without casing, and memories without anywhere to go. The sound of pounding water greeted his ears familiarly. 

It hadn't been like most of their other dreams. It hadn't been full of dream-kisses and cuddles. It had been full of promises. He'd tried to explain that he was coming back for her, coming back to her arms and her love. He hoped it was the right thing, because now that she knew, he couldn't turn back. And he couldn't fail.

So he stood up and made his way towards the part of the Farplane that he rarely went to. It was built like Zanarkand, with tall buildings and lights and crowds of young people. He wandered around the city for a while, pondering over it's uniqueness and it's similarity to that of Zanarkand.

After inquiring of some passerby's, he found the building that the council was said to do all their business in. He walked in through doors of glass and wood with brass handles into a hall carpeted in deep red-gold-green patterns. He walked to what was somewhat of a lobby, anxiety ever growing in his heart. There were lots of people in the room, some holding numbers, others seemed lost. There was a line at the desk that seemed to be a mile long, and his heart would have dropped, had it not been in his throat.

He was going to walk to the back of the line when a lady who seemed strangely familiar grabbed his wrist and told him to follow her.

They went up a wide staircase and down a few halls before she opened almost-hidden doors to reveal another long corridor. He was getting tired of being half-dragged, but she continued in her fast pace to the end of the hall. She opened a pair of large, strong doors onto somewhat of a terrace that seemed to be hidden from the outside. 

Tidus could hardly keep from sweating. This was the council, this was his way out. 

The terrace was a half-circle. His back was to the flat half, and arch was set up with chairs. It was perfectly positioned, the entire council could see him without the slightest ounce of difficulty. One seat was empty until his guide took her place among the other members of the council. To his amazement, surprise, and horror, his guide had been Lady Yunalesca. Among the members of the council, there were some he recognized and some he didn't. All were either high summoners, or maester's, with a fayth or two in attendance as well. As he scanned the room, he didn't know whether to feel ecstatic or terrified that Braska was among them.

As soon as the initial shock of the reality of what was going on had come and gone, he bowed politely albeit a little clumsily. 

"We've been expecting you for quite some time," said Lady Yunalesca. "We were all a bit surprised to see that you waited this long to seek our permission to go back to Spira."

"In all honesty, Lady Yunalesca, I had no idea that there was a way out of here. Or else I probably would have been here the moment I found out," Tidus said. He knew when to be respectful, and now was one of these times. It was extremely nerve-racking to speak to someone you had helped to send to the farplane. The boy he recognized as Bahamut's Fayth spoke next.

"You were very mature about all of this. I had expected you to take it harder. Now, I must ask you the same question that we have asked countless others since the time this council was set up: why should you be allowed to even take the challenge to go back?"

Tidus almost faltered. He could say he was a hero, but they knew that. All were heroes of one sort or another during their time (or after). He could say he was in love, but so had they been, he was sure. So he thought for a while before coming to the conclusion that both supported each other.

"Before I answer, do you mind if I ask you all one question?"

"Of course," said Lady Yunalesca.

He took a deep breath. "Do you wish to make the ultimate hero, the one who set Spira free from Sin, as happy as ever they could be?"

"I didn't know you set yourself at such a high regard," one of the members said sarcastically with a smile. It was tense for Tidus, but the other members smiled as well.

"However, yes, we wish for their happiness. But we can't let you walk out of here just for that," Lady Yunalesca spoke again.

Tidus smiled, "I wasn't talking about myself. Lady Yuna. She set Spira free, and she helped rebuild the world that Sin destroyed. She rebuilt Spira with her own hands and her strength. She cries at night, and she's lonely. . . I hear her voice, sometimes, and it's a heart-wrenching sound. The sound of her pain haunts me, and I can't be with her to tell her it's alright. I'm sure you all want her to be happy as much as I do. She bravely fought sin, and her reward is loneliness." He wondered a little if he'd said too much, but he kept his eyes locked on Braska's.

Braska spoke for the first time, and as he spoke his eyes were sad. He looked like a father who was looking at his child through a glass window, watching her cry and cry while he was able to do nothing. "Did you love my daughter?"

Tidus's eyes filled with tears, and he found it hard to conceal the words he had heard so many times from his father. "You always cry. . ." Instead of letting it get to him, he straightened his back a little without even realizing he was doing it. He pushed back the tears and answered with every ounce of honesty his body contained. "With all my heart, and I always will." 

Lady Yunalesca, who had been sitting forward in her chair eagerly, leaned back and looked Tidus in the face. Her expression gave nothing away. "Will you step outside for a moment, Tidus?"

Tidus bowed gracefully and stepped out of the large oak doors with the brass handles, shutting them behind him and sighing deeply. He hoped his honesty would be enough to get him at least on the road back to Yuna. He didn't know what he'd do if he failed to get back to her. He found himself pacing, and brushing his hair back awkwardly. Visions of Yuna crying flashed into his head. He didn't want her to have those tears anymore.

It seemed like forever in that long, empty corridor. Forever waiting for what would be the final verdict on whether he and Yuna could be happy for a while. Whether their, her, heroism was enough to make death cough up Tidus.

It was only a few minutes later that Lady Yunalesca opened the door and they retook their positions. Tidus stood shy, but fierce and passionate. His nervousness seemed to be getting the better of him.


	5. Missing You

"Tidus. . . as a reward for your's and Lady Yuna's heroism, and because your bond of love is so much stronger than death could ever be, you have the honor of one try, and only one, to take the challenge of going back to Spira."

Lady Yunalesca's voice seemed grab Tidus's soul be the hand and send him soaring to heights of happiness where he'd never even dreamed he could be. He was actually going to go home to Yuna, to his Yuna.

"The journey will not be easy. You will have three tests. A test of physical strength, a test of wit, and a test of character. If we have not judged you clearly, surely these tests will. It only takes one falter, one ill move to bring you back here to the farplane. There is no second chance, this is all you get. You may take all the time you need. However, you must remember that time here, and time in Spira are both very different. Time on the path between the places is scattered, running fast or slow. It is not a constant. You are racing time as well."

Tidus bowed and smiled. "Thank you. Thank you very much. I'll try my hardest."

Lady Yunalesca smiled and nodded for him to leave. As he turned around, Braska's voice stopped him. 

"Tidus, tell her I love her."

He smiled a little unsurely, but he meant it. He had to get back to Yuna. With more energy than he'd ever felt in all his life, he walked out the doors. He could barely contain himself to walking, because he felt like flying.

He walked out of the city with a smile lighting his face. He couldn't fail. He just couldn't.

* * * * * *

Yuna sat up in bed and groaned. "Well, that certainly was a strange dream," she said quietly to herself. She smiled and felt a little clumsy with love until she reminded herself that it was only a dream. Nothing, it seemed, could bring her Tidus back. She wished more than anything in the world that they could be together again. She'd cling to him tighter than any dream she'd ever had.

She'd slept in late, she supposed, it had to be around 11 or so. She heard noises from the kitchen and decided to go see if it was Lulu up to her usual madness. Some days she'd cook, and some days she'd work spells, and other days she'd just make noise. 

Yuna threw the covers off and hopped down the stairs, brushing her hair back with her fingers. She wasn't surprised to see Lulu grinding up herbs and putting them in a bottle, never looking up.

"What are you making this morning?" Yuna asked a little tiredly, rubbing one of her eyes.

"Nothing too interesting, just a tea mix," Lulu said nonchalantly, still not looking at Yuna.

Yuna looked over Lulu's should and decided that it wouldn't be a very tasty tea, by the looks of the mixture of the herbs. She made a face, but underneath, she realized that it would probably be very useful.

"Did you sleep well?" Lulu asked, glancing back for the first time at Yuna, who had just taken a seat on the white stone of the kitchen counter.

"Yes, better than in a while. As you can tell by how late I slept," she groaned a little, thinking about the wasted day. Although she probably wouldn't have done much more, had she actually been conscious. She yawned largely and stared out the window. 

"Did you dream about Tidus again?" she smiled, but didn't turn to look at Yuna. Although it was a painful subject sometimes, Yuna would always talk about him in the mornings.

"Yeah, but it wasn't the same tonight. He said he was coming back. Talk about dreaming, huh?" She tried to laugh off the feeling she had.

"Well, maybe it sounds crazy, but maybe you have some sort of connection. You know, love conquers all things?" Lulu continued working on the tea. She wondered what it would have been like if she was in Yuna's situation. Then again, she didn't think that kind of pain was worth thinking about. "Yuna, you're very brave. I don't think I would have been able to handle it, the way you did. I didn't handle Chappu's death very well, and you and Tidus seemed to be in a completely different dimension, where love is concerned."

Yuna was silent a moment, and she began to swing her feet off the edge of the counter the way a child would. She didn't look up at Lulu, and her face didn't give anything away until her eyes began to glitter. Lulu knew she was going to cry so she didn't turn around.

"I don't feel very brave," she said quietly. In her heart, she wished that her dream was some kind of premonition. She wished that she could have her Tidus back.


	6. On the Road Back to You

Tidus had said good-bye to Auron and had hugged his mother. They hadn't spent much time together, and that was something that Tidus did regret. There was always something more to do, it seemed. Then again, he hadn't known he was going to be permitted to be have a shot at going back to living after eight months. He hadn't talked to his father, but he couldn't wait any longer, so he headed for the back part of town. There weren't many people around here, but there was a large black gate, designed with elegant patterns that were beautiful but eerie. Tipped with spires, the fence stood a shadow of what Spira had been. Dark, but living and full of life.

Standing in front of the gates was Jecht. He was leaning on them, a little carelessly. He looked almost the same as he always had. He didn't seem to care much. That was what Tidus thought until he saw the tears. Jecht hugged him for a while without a word.

"Are you really going to miss me, dad?" Tidus said, a little choked up himself. He didn't want to cry. He wanted to be the strong one for once.

"I was kind of okay with you having to come to the Farplane. It was really selfish of me, because I wanted you and I to get along, you know? I wanted to be the father I never was. . ."

Tidus couldn't hold it any longer, either. He began to cry openly. But he didn't get teased or chastised for it. He just got held.

"Don't worry, dad. I'll be back sooner or later."

"Try to make it later, Tidus. I don't want to see you for a long time. And remember, when you go back to living, remember to live." They hugged one more time, and the gate opened. Tidus took a deep breath and ran onto the darkened path.

"I'll live, dad. I'll live."

* * * * *

"So this is it, huh?" he thought to himself. He tried to keep running, heeding the warning about time's unsteady course on the path between the Farplane and Spira. He tried not to think about the upcoming challenges. What if his strength had withered? What if his wit had left him? And what if he didn't have enough character?

The path was different than any place he had been. The sky was black, but the path his feet was hitting was white, almost glowing. There were no stars in the sky, but electric red clouds. It was a creepy place. Bright white trees loomed on either side of him, and there was no mistaking where he was going. There were no turns in the wide path No rocks, nothing but white dust and black sky, and purple fruits hanging from the trees. 

It was eerie, like a memory that had been so worn out that even the colors were messed up. This was a place very few people had been, and that no one would choose to belong to.

His breathing became labored, like the dark sky was pressing in on his lungs. 'Time must move very slowly here. . .' he thought. But then again, it could be moving so fast that he had to push to keep going. He pushed through the patch of heavy air, as though he was trying to push his way through a wall of concrete. It seemed so slow, but he had to keep pushing. He couldn't give it up.

With every step the air seemed heavier, and his hope was trying to wane. He knew it wasn't possible to hear Yuna's cries here, but he thought of all those things he wished he could have said. All the things she needed. He trudged stronger, still, determined to get back to her. His lungs felt as though they were going to collapse, and he was gasping for air.

The world around him was beginning to go black, blacker than it already was, his head pounded to the rhythm of his heart. The red clouds were spinning, and he felt like it was a lost cause. But he kept walking. His pace was slow. His legs ached with the effort, and he pounded on the air in front of him in a vain effort to keep moving. He wished to be back in Spira, already, with his heart pounding painfully. 

The air became heavier, still, like he was trying to move forward as an enormous tidal wave was trying to pull him back. His eyes were closed in pain, and his head was pounding constantly, and the ground was spinning fast around him. He felt as though he was dying all over again, only this time it hurt. Everything was black, but his last determined thought was 'I have to move. . . forward. . .'

He groaned with the effort and finally, the world fell still.


	7. hope and desperation

"It's been three days, Lu. . . nothing. Not even a glimpse of him in my dreams," Yuna said, once again sitting on the counter. Lulu handed her a cup of juice and took a seat at the table.

"What do you make out of it? What do you think?" Lulu said quietly. Yuna looked out the window at a group of children playing at the water. Blitzball. Another reminder of him.

"I don't know. All I know is that now not even my dreams hold him. I'm not forgetting him, am I?" Yuna asked worriedly.

"You still know him. I know you."

Yuna realized that Lulu was right. If Tidus walked through the door right now, nothing would be a surprise. His hair, his eyes, the contours of his face, his body. . . she knew and remembered everything as well as if she saw him everyday.

"Maybe it's nothing," Yuna said quietly.

* * * *

When he woke up, all he saw was white. He almost began to cry. He felt like a failure. . . he'd failed before the first test. He rolled over helplessly and saw. . . a black sky. Red clouds. Purple fruit. White trees.

He sighed. The air wasn't heavy any more, and nothing was spinning. He worriedly wondered how long he'd been out for. He was about to sit up when an old man's face appeared above him.

"It's about time, you've been sleeping for quite a while."

"Who are you, and what am I doing here?"

The old man smiled, and Tidus sat up. The smile was a much-needed contrast to the barren path. He stood up slowly, and grimaced in pain as he felt his badly-bruised body yell at him.

"I am Lyon, the keeper of the first trial. You set a new record!" he said cheerfully. 

"Record?" Tidus said numbly, flexing his fingers and shaking his head.

"Well- you only had to push against a set amount of pressure to past the first test, but you held out much farther than most people. You must really have something to fight for, eh?" His voice was crazy and somewhat carefree. Tidus shook his head in amazement.

"Am I allowed to go, now? Did I pass?" Tidus said, a little impatiently. Lyon smiled.

"You can go. Be strong."

Tidus started to walk away, then stopped and smiled. "Thank you," he said quietly.

"For what?" Lyon asked, scratching his chin. His skinny body seemed too frail to be overlooking this test. He looked half-starved, but happy.

"For your smile," Tidus answered. He then turned around, and half-limped, half-ran away.

* * * *

She hung her head tiredly, and set her cup of water down next to her bed. She'd already been through the usual runaround of pre-night time rituals. Her face was washed, her hair brushed, the windows in the house opened to let the cool of the night in.

She looked out her window. The moon was bright and the water carried it's reflection, ripples traveling in nature's perfectly plotted course. It was beautiful, with stars dotting the sky, and their reflections moving in the water. The world seemed so lonely anymore. Even Lulu had Wakka (although both were completely obvious, they were just too scared to spit out the honest truth of the matter), and everyone else had someone to cling to. Even her dreams of him had gotten away, somehow.

What did that mean? Even if he existed in the Farplane, he would still be existing right? What if she forgot? What if her dreams died, where would he go? She sighed deeply. It wasn't right, and it was confusing. She still knew every line on his face, the curves of his arms, the way he felt when she was pulled right up against him, his heartbeat. . . if she needed to, she probably could've made a very good guess as to how many hairs were on his head. Her mind still painted pictures of him, written on her heart like line after line of poetry. It was the kind of poetry that a lovesick person could never tire of hearing.

She gave the night sky a final scan before crawling into bed, on top of the covers. She sighed deeply and thought of him as she fell asleep, her last half-conscious thought being of him.


	8. With Every Footstep

He walked more slowly down the morbid road, every one of his muscles and joints aching from the pain of pushing himself. But even worse than the physical exhaustion, was the emotional turmoil. He wished more than anything that he could push himself to move faster, because time could be speeding past him by the years and he would never know. Every part of him ached for her, and with every breath he was practically screaming out her name on the inside. His heartbeat was fast and delicate, and with every beat, it made him even that much more devoted to her. 

He looked up to the black sky, and the red clouds and pleaded to just be able to make it back to Besaid before things changed. Before she got over him.

He walked for hours, staying to the middle of the path, feeling as though he were dragging his feet terribly. Maybe it was just the tension and the panic, but it felt as though his blood had taken the opposite route of his feet, getting quicker by the second.

Suddenly, though, it became easier to walk. He passed a marble chess table, a game half-finished and abandoned. There was a white house on the path, hidden, and practically camouflaged behind the massive trunks of numerous white trees. Only then he realized that the path did lead to the house, and there seemed to be no way around it. The path dropped away on both sides, so he figured he'd just have to go up to the house.

The white steps were wide, and old, and creaked with every footstep. The black atmosphere made the old, creaking house seem like a temple. A place to be welcomed, finally, after all those miles of barren half-darkness, half-silence, and half-haunting. He made his way to the large double doors and swung the handle on one of the large, brass knockers.

The dense air reverberated the sound slowly, as though the sound had gotten stuck somewhere. Or maybe that was just his heart, caught in the back of his throat. He took a deep breath as one of the huge doors creaked open.

In front of him stood a woman, who looked barely older than himself, though had probably gained many centuries of knowledge. Her hair was icy blue, and her eyes a shade of green-blue-black that there was no name for. She smiled quietly, and invited him in with a gesture of her hand.

"Hello, Tidus. My name is Yukiko. I have been expecting you."

The inside of the aged fortress was white with deep reds. Although the color scheme wasn't much different than that of the outside path, it was much more inviting. She sat down on a large red couch.

"Have a seat," she said in her surprisingly deep and somewhat subtle voice.

He chose an over-sized, over-stuffed armchair at a comfortable distance from her. He looked at her, puzzled, but staying silent in awe and respect.

"You are eager," she smiled. "Your next task is hard, you can stay a while if you would like?"

He shifted a bit uncomfortably, and looked up to meet her gaze. The proposition did sound tempting, and he found himself suddenly drowsy. But something inside him screamed no, and it hauntingly sounded like Yuna's voice. He squashed a yawn. "No, I have someone I need to get back to, quickly. I think she needs me."

"Very well. Follow me for your next test," she got up quickly, and he followed her, the sound of her bare feet and his shoes clunking echoed of the inviting walls. It could have been a comfortable place to live in, but there was something more important than comfort now. He needed to run back to her, and taking any unnecessary naps was out of the question.

She led him out a back door, and he suddenly found that it was hard to tell the ground from the sky. There was no steady path, and he found himself in front of a labyrinth of glowing white bushes. He wasn't able to see the end, and the ground was dark now. He looked up at Yukiko. She smiled.

"Time moves quickly here. You followed your heart about resting. May she guide you through the maze before it's too late. Go, quickly."

Tidus nodded and thanked her with a smile, before turning around and setting off at a run.

* * * * *

Yuna laid in bed, not sleepy, but not wanting to move. She feared that if she moved, she'd be spent forever. So she just laid, staring out the window at the late-morning bliss of Besaid. She could hear the water climbing up the shore. Her eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them back.

Lulu walked in her room with two cups of tea, and sat on the bed with Yuna. She smiled at her almost-sister and offered her one of the cups. 

Yuna sat up and leaned herself against the headboard, taking the cup in between her fragile hands and setting it on her knees. Lulu leaned against the foot of the bed, sitting with her legs folded. She had taken to staying at Yuna's mostly, and wearing pajamas the majority of the time. Yuna very rarely left the house.

"How are you feeling? Any better today?" Lulu asked quietly. She looked from the half-empty cup of tea in her hands, to Yuna's face.

"Not really. My heart keeps hurting, and I don't have any strength left. I don't know what it is. . . I don't think I'm sick. I'm just. . .chronically tired. And I hurt almost everywhere," Yuna looked tired, and sad. She was so lost without him, that she was becoming physically drained. 

"Well- just drink your tea, and rest. Although you should at least go for a walk or something."

"Maybe later, Lulu. Hopefully I'll feel better, then." She smiled weakly.

"I'm going shopping, anything you want me to pick up for you?" Lulu unfolded her legs and stood up, still looking down at Yuna.

"Umm-maybe another book, if you can find one I haven't already read? And ice cream. I think I'll be in an ice cream mood tonight," she smiled. 

"Okay, I'll see what I can do. And the ice cream is definitely a yes," Lulu reached down and hugged her with one arm. "I'll be back in a while."

Lulu walked into the kitchen to set down her tea-cup and was faced with Wakka. She looked up at him, startled. 

"How's she doin'? I been worried about her, ya?" Wakka looked sincere, and a little sad.

Lulu's eyes filled with tears, but tried to blink them back before he could see. He knew her too well, though, and put his arms around her. She put her hands on his shoulders and buried her face into the base of his neck, crying freely.

"I think her soul is dying," she sobbed. Her defenses were crumbling quickly, her walls, her sarcasm, her bitterness, all flying quickly away from her like there was nothing more she could do to keep her pride intact.

Wakka held her tightly, and she cried into him, not knowing what else to do. "Where's Tidus when we need him? It's been two months since her last dream. . ."


	9. Angels Awaken

He seemed to be going around in circles, but he couldn't tell where he'd already been. He felt so full of panic-how many days had gone by? What if they were years to her? What if she was dying as he ran in circles in this maze? It was the cruelest thing to run in circles as her heart was hurting. Or probably worse yet, healing.

All the bushes looked the same as he ran past them. White, and with the leaves all arranged perfectly. How would he ever be able to tell where he was? He sighed, frustrated, and pushed his hair back away from his forehead with his fingers. He stopped breathing for a moment in awe.

It was like an answer, his hands. He pulled one of his gloves off and used his teeth to tear a strip off of the bottom. He quickly tied it to one of the leaves. The black strip, though small, stood out ferociously against the white of the hedges. With a renewed faith, he set off running, and simultaneously tearing his glove into strips of black. Every time he turned a corner, he tied a strip to a branch. Every time he tied part of his glove on, he could see it stand out with boldness against the white of it's surroundings. He smiled inwardly.

Because he had a renewed sense of confidence, he developed a system of turning. Right, right, left. More than once, he came across shredded black hung on the shrubs, and had to turn a different way. He ran for what seemed like hours, sweat building upon him, and fatigue battling it's way into his soul. The endless hours flew by, and he continued to run. The mazy encircled him, never-ending in it's hopelessness. 

Then, at the last of his strength, he tripped, fell, just laid on the ground, staring up at black sky. Sleep fought it's way up his legs, making it's way up his chest, his head. His eyes closed as Yuna's spirit seemed to fly away from her at an alarming speed. Then, something unimaginable happened.

Tidus opened his eyes, and there she was, a white vision in her summoner's clothes leaning over him. He sat up, and looked at her.

"Tidus, don't sleep. I need you to come back to me," her voice was faint, but it was the same endearing voice that he had missed for so long. 

An undescribable feeling came over him as he stood up and faced her. "Yuna. . ." he whispered as he picked up his hand to touch her cheek. His bare hand felt nothing, though, as she was barely more than a wisp of smoke. 

Now he knew how she must have felt as she tumbled through him. It killed him, for her to be so close, but still so far away. His heart hurt more than ever, and he could barely breathe.

"You can't sleep anymore, Tidus. Time slips away, here, and I'm fading. I'm fading without you," the ghost whispered helplessly. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Tidus come back to me. You have to follow me. . ." she said hurriedly.

"I'll follow you, wherever you go," he replied quietly. She smiled and nodded, then turned and ran.

He ran as fast as he could to keep up with her. White shrubbery and black thread blurred on either side of him as he turned through the maze in some sick, twisted pattern that had tried so long to keep them apart. Every part of him ached to catch up with her, like maybe when they reached the end, he'd be able to touch her. She left the maze, with him following not very far after.

Yuna's ghost turned around and smiled and Tidus. "I have to go. Don't stay away any longer."

"Yuna, don't go. You can't leave me, I feel like I have so much longer. . ."

"Tidus," she smiled. "I have to go, my body needs me."

"I won't be far behind, then," he took another step closer.

"Promise?"

"I promise," his eyes filled with tears, and she was already crying.

The ghost turned away and vanished, letting out one long, high-pitched whistle as she left.


	10. Sadness

Yuna opened her eyes to bright morning light seeping in through her window. She could hear footsteps in the hall, and was vaguely aware of voices speaking, hushed.

"I'll go check on her, Wakka, I just hope she'll wake up soon," Lulu's voice was distant and full of worry. She heard a certain pair of feet shuffle down the hall and into her room. Yuna sat up as Lulu entered the room.

"Are you feeling okay?" Lulu said. She looked tired and disheveled, and it was apparent that she hadn't slept lately.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I feel better than I have in a long time," she stood up as Lulu walked toward her.

"Well, I guess three days of sleep can do that to a person," she said a bit sarcastically, but it was obvious that she was relieved to see Yuna up and around again.

"Three days? I was asleep for three days?" Yuna asked in disbelief. "I didn't even dream that long. It was short." Lulu could tell by the look on her face and her renewed energy that she had finally dreamed of Tidus again.

"He was there?" There was almost a reverence in Lulu's voice, like a hope that she didn't want to make apparent. Yuna looked up at Lulu and smiled a little. She nodded and then headed downstairs for some orange juice. 

She breezed past an equally disheveled Wakka on her way to the fridge. He stared at her and her completely nonchalant attitude with disbelief. Was she unaware that she had been sleeping and scaring everyone for the past three days?

"Yuna, you're alright, ya?" he said puzzled, deciding not to bring it up.

She looked over at him and smiled. "I'm fine, sorry to make you guys worry."

Lulu entered the kitchen, and she and Wakka exchanged a look that clearly said "let's talk."

"Umm, Yuna, we'll be back later. Don't exhaust yourself too much, ya?" Wakka said as he and Lulu edged towards the door.

"Okay, have fun," she sighed. As they left, she knew they'd be talking about her and the past three crazy days. She walked into the living room and sat down on one of her oversized couches, pulling her legs underneath her and grabbing the glass of orange juice with both hands. She tilted her head and looked at the empty white marble fireplace.

She sighed, knowing that she'd probably sleep three days every time she laid down, if it meant dreaming of him 

* * *

"She dreamed of him, he must still be out there," Lulu said, kicking up sand with her bare feet. 

"You really believe that he comes to her?" Wakka asked, looking over at her. It wasn't unusual for them to just talk about her and nothing else lately. With every day that had gone by in the past two and a half months, she had seemed to get nothing but weaker. Every day she got more lonely, and less alive.

"Well, what else could it be? She hasn't forgotten anything about him, I know. She could never just stop herself from dreaming of him. He promised her in a dream that he would be on his way back, then she just stopped dreaming about him until last night," Lulu looked at him, raising one eyebrow.

"It does seem kind of suspicious, ya?" There was somewhat of an uncomfortable silence for a moment, neither looking up from their feet. "Did Chappu ever come to you in dreams?"

Lulu's eyes glittered briefly, then she smiled. "Once. The only thing he said was not to cry, and not to spend my life thinking of him. He said there was someone who could love me better."

"Did he say who that person was?" Wakka looked over at her for a moment, and their eyes met until they both quickly looked back to their feet. 

"Yes, but I don't know if I could love him the same as he could love me. He's so, untainted, you know?" Lulu said quietly.

"Maybe you'll have a connection with him someday, though. Like Tidus and Yuna, ya?" he said quietly.

"Yeah, maybe. And maybe we'll have a better ending."


	11. Crumbling

Tidus walked down the path, white again. The white trees made him feel empty, and it was strange that he was only one test away from her. He walked fast, trying to ignore the exhaustion that plagued him. It had been about an hour on his body's time since he had left the maze. With her image fresh in his mind, he walked, thinking of her and only her. 

The path had been barren, with not even very many of the looming white trees. But he'd seen her, she'd come to him. He had the strength to fly, if need be. So he had to keep it to a fast walk, trying to find the end of the one-way path. 

He walked, barely feeling the ground beneath his feet for almost a mile more, when he saw a bridge. He couldn't see what was on the other side, but it certainly wasn't black sky and red clouds. At the bridge there was a man standing, he was in his late thirties, it seemed. But he had the kind of look on his face that told Tidus that this man, like the other keepers of trials, was just as experienced through time.

"Tidus. How are you?" The man's voice was warm and welcoming. Not anything like Yukiko's strangely subtle and halfway betraying voice.

"Exhausted," he said. He then remembered his manners, "But grateful, thank you. How are you?"

"Anxious. My name, before we continue, is Andrelia. You can call me Andre. I only have three questions to ask, before you can go. First of all, did you love her? Yuna, that is."

There was hardly a silence. "Yes, and I still do. And I believe I always will." It seemed too easy. They knew that already, didn't they?

"Second, when was the last time you saw her? In person or otherwise?" His smile reassured Tidus that he was doing okay so far.

"She. . . she guided me out of the labyrinth." 

Andre smiled and nodded again, his brown curly hair shaking in locks. His bright green eyes looked Tidus straight through to the heart of him.

"Did you tell her what you felt?"

He gulped, a bit guiltily. But there was Macalania, there were all of the times he just stood by her. "Not vocally," he confessed quietly, realizing he could have done better the first time as well.. "But I hope that my actions spoke louder than my voice ever could have."

There was a tense silence and Andre smiled. Tidus, still exhausted, smiled a little back.

"You may go."

Tidus thanked him and nodded before turning around to run across the bridge to join the living, to join Yuna, again.

* * * *

He crossed the bridge slowly, hopefully. As he stepped across, he was in a town not far from Besaid. It was hard to recognize, because all the buildings were different. Apparently, after the defeat of Sin, they had begun to reconstruct the Machina. He wondered briefly what had become of Zanarkand.

There were people all over in the streets. People talking, people shopping, people laughing. It wasn't like last time he'd been among the people in Spira. This time, everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.

* * * *

Yuna stood, leaning against her counter. It had been almost a week since that brief dream, and it didn't seem like nearly enough to keep her okay. She was almost back to being as tired as before, but she didn't want to let anyone catch on. She wanted Lulu and Wakka to be more concerned about themselves; each other.

They were gone now, shopping or walking. Doing whatever it was that they did when they were together. Yuna smiled at the thought of their happiness. She had always seen the way they glanced at each other, and quickly pretended that they didn't. It was cute, almost like a childhood crush.

Suddenly, her insides tumbled, and her legs went weak. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last, she was sure. She gripped the edge of the counter, and let some soft noises escape her throat. She'd heard Lulu talking about her soul dying. Yuna was scared, and wondered how much longer she could stand it. 

Dying hurt more than she thought.

* * * *

Tidus wandered the streets, wondering which way to Besaid. He stopped at a few shops and did the most unmanly thing ever: asked for directions. Being manly didn't matter so much, anymore. Yuna was the only thing that he was breathing for.

It was quickly darkening, and he made his way to the docks to find a boat. As he turned a corner, he heard the most heart wrenching sound. A child, crying.

He had heard children earlier in the day, but mothers had long since shuffled their children off to bed. Part of him said to ignore the crying, that it was probably just a spoiled baby, crying over not getting what they wanted. But he listened to the other part that said to pay attention.

So he turned away from the docks toward the crying of the child.

* * * *

Yuna gripped the edge of the counter harder and half-screamed. 

Alone, tired, and in pain; she fell.


	12. near-miss

Tidus found her leaning against a building. Her eyes were swollen from crying, and she had a torn doll in one hand. He crouched down to be eye level with her.

"Hi, I'm Tidus, what's your name?"

She couldn't have been older than five, he guessed. She looked up at him, bright blue eyes piercing him through. She sniffled, struggling to stop wailing.

"Eveya," she said quietly, rubbing her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, putting his hands on her waist, seeing that she was obviously without a parent. "Where's your mommy?"

"I can't find her. I saw her over there," she pointed down the street, "and then I didn't see her again after that. And now it's dark."

"Are you afraid of the dark?" Tidus asked quietly. She sniffled again, and hugged her tattered doll to her chest.

"A little."

"I'm going to help you find your mommy, then. What does she look like?" Tidus smiled and lifted Eveya up onto his shoulders and began to walk down the street where she had pointed.

"She's pretty and has red hair," Eveya continued sniffling, still battling tears.

Tidus walked through the half-weary crowd, searching for any women with red hair. He couldn't help thinking that he'd much rather be looking for Yuna. Eveya suddenly let out a little cry, and pointed. "There she is, right in front of us!" Tidus let her down and held her hand until she ran away in front of him. As she ran, the crowd thinned and disappeared, as did the buildings.

The gorgeous red-haired woman picked up the child and slowly, her appearance changing into Yunalesca. The child changed into Ceres, pigtails and all. He tilted his head to the side, and it was apparent that he was confused.

"There are some who take this road, but you are only one of three who have made it back. And, you didn't seriously think that three questions would test your character enough for us, did you?" Yunalesca asked, smiling a bit.

"Well, I guess not," Tidus scratched his head, and stood in awe that things could have gone so wrong so fast. He never would have managed to get to Yuna. He was practically gaping at how almost-stupid he had been. Ceres smiled at him.

"Are you going to back to Yuna now? Can you make her stop crying? It makes us all sad when she cries. ." Ceres said the words quietly, almost unsure if she'd said the right thing.

Tidus looked up at Yunalesca, wondering on the verdict. She smiled pensively, although it was halfway apparent that she had made up her mind.

"You want me to send you to Besaid?" she smiled. Tidus could hardly contain his excitement, he felt like flying. Screaming. Yelling in celebration, or something.

"Besaid would be good," he said quietly. "Thank you."

"Tidus, you really deserve it. I've never known someone who deserves it more, except perhaps Yuna. You two really are wonderful. Tell her I said so," Yunalesca smiled and walked away. As she did, he was sucked into a white light, a weightlessness, then suddenly he was standing on the beach in Besaid, where it was beginning to rain. 


	13. Back to Your Arms

He looked around, the only thing recognizable was the temple. The huts had been replaced (very recently, it seemed) with houses of brick or wood, except for one. One house was a little larger than the rest, and made of stone. He heard a whistle come from the direction of that house, and knew that it was the heavens, echoing many painful whistles that had come from those halls. 

As he entered, it had already begun raining hard. He was dripping wet, so he took off his shoes and socks, walking in tentatively, wondering if he should have knocked, rather than just walk in. He heard a voice from up the set of stairs in front of him. A voice he loved and adored.

"Who's there? I'm not afraid of you, you know," she said, and he could barely make her outline walking down the stairs. He stood motionless, twenty feet in front of the last stair, as she made her way down, summoner's staff in hand. He smiled that she kept it. 

Before he knew it, she made a run for him. But she saw the shadows on his face, the rain-streaked windows leaving similar patterns on his cheeks. She dropped her staff, stopped, and simply stared at him. They looked at each other in complete silence for a few moments.

"Tidus? Am I dreaming? Is that really you?" she asked quietly. It was completely apparent that she was ready to pounce on him, ready to believe that he was there. She hoped more than anything that she wasn't still dreaming.

"Yuna," he whispered her name, the word sticking sweet on his tongue, and beautiful in her ears. She ran forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself up against him, taking him into her skin. The feel of him, so familiar yet so missed. He hugged her, too, pulling her closer, and simultaneously gritting his teeth. She noticed the look on his face and looked him in the eyes, confused.

"I think I'm hurt. Do you have anything. . . lighter. . . to wear?" He asked, grimacing. She thought for a moment, placing her hand on his upper arm. 

"I'll be right back," she said quietly. As she put her hand on the door, she turned to face him, "And don't go anywhere." Her last three words were pronounced boldly, and he smiled.

"I won't," he said and smiled. And he had no intention of even moving from where he stood.

A few minutes later she ran back in the door, and he was exactly as she had left him. He smiled at her as she handed him some soft, simple pajamas. He took her in for a moment, as she turned on the light. Her hair was longer, and she was wearing pajama shorts and a tank top. Her long limbs still almost the exact same shade of pale and beige as when he had left. She looked older, and tired, and currently dripping from head to toe. She smiled at him, and the way he hadn't changed, same gorgeous, stunning eyes, same blonde hair. The same unknowingly charming smile.

"Umm. . . the bathroom's upstairs across the hall from my room," she said quietly.

"Thank you," he said hushed, letting the sound of the rain on her roof almost overpower him. He turned to walk up the stairs, pajamas in one hand. She followed and stood outside the bathroom door, half-pacing as he changed and washed his face. Waiting for him. It was hard not to just want to touch him every second. He walked out, and she looked at him for a moment. It was strange but beautiful for her to see him, the dream that had once vanished. She smiled, and he smiled. 

She was still exhausted, it had only been a few hours since she had passed out. Her stomach was still writhing, she still felt like she was dying. Maybe her body was just so used to dying that it didn't register that she had no reason to feel sick anymore. She didn't let him see she was in pain, and took his hand for the strength to walk. He turned her to look at him, and she stood, his eyes locked on hers. His hair was still dripping, and so was hers. 

The rain kept pounding, and so did their hearts, every second seemed like an eternity. But still much too short. She couldn't stand the awkwardness any more, so she kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck, almost like she was putting her whole soul into it. He knew she wanted it to last forever, and was completely surprised when she broke the kiss, breathing in deeply. 

"Yuna. . . are you okay?" He put one arm around her back as she put one of her own arms around her stomach, closing her eyes in pain. She made a sound that sounded like a half sob, and started sinking to the ground. He watched her, eyes wide, knowing the pain must be unbearable. He picked her up, and carried her over to her bed. She was still making that sobbing noise and it pained his heart to hear her like that.

He laid her down softly, and pulled a thin blanket over her. She coughed and looked up at him, sitting on the edge of her bed. 

"I'm sorry," she said weakly. "Lulu says. . ." She stopped, contemplating if she should tell him what Lulu had said. He looked in her eyes for an answer. "Lulu says that because I missed you so much, my soul is dying."

His eyes went wide, and he realized that he should have made an attempt to get back to her earlier. Ten and a half months since he'd left her, he realized, looking at the calendar on her night stand. 

"Will you get better, now that I'm here?" he asked quietly, barely being able to look her in the eyes.

"I hope so." She smiled, "I won't get worse, I'm sure. I have more than enough reason to go on, happily."

He walked around the bed and crawled in next to her on the other side. She looked up at him as he kneeled over her. "What?" she asked quietly.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry that it took so long."

He laid down and wrapped his arms around her, her back to him. "You're here now," she whispered. "At least we have that. . ."

She turned her head around a little, and he propped himself up a little on his elbow. She smiled a bit. Her eyes were a little more exhausted, her skin a little paler, her lips a little more unused. Unused? Tidus slapped himself mentally for that little bout of manliness, but kissed her anyway. She kissed back gently without a moment of hesitation. 

"I love you," he whispered, as his lips pulled away. Her eyes shot open, but she immediately shed her look of surprise. The pain in her stomach faded a little. She rolled over and slung her arms around his waist, burying her face in his neck. 

She breathed him in, and he kissed her ear. "You came, just like you promised."

"I just got tired of the whistling," he chuckled. She didn't know how to retort, so she blindly bit his neck. "Hey, that's not fair. . . I can't bite you. It's not nice."

She pulled away from him a little. "Want me to kiss it better?" she whispered a little sarcastically.

"You've been hanging out with Lulu too long, you're starting to get cynical."

She kissed the little red spot where she'd bit him. "I wasn't completely joking," she whispered. He kissed her forehead. And she yawned.

"I think it's time to sleep now," he whispered back, touching his forehead to hers.

"But I'm not tired," she lied, kissing him quickly. He kissed her nose and shushed her. He held her body close to his, and she ran her fingers through his hair. Both of them felt better than in a long time, knowing the touch of the other. Before either of them knew it, they fell asleep.


	14. For Want Of

Yuna woke up, rain running down her windows, she was surprised as she found that she wasn't the only one lying in her bed. Then she remembered the night before and smiled, groaning and stretching quietly. She looked at him, his face buried in her pillow, his arms were still around her waist. She did and yet didn't want to wake him. So she settled for watching him breathe. Everything about him was new and yet familiar. But there was no question, it was all absolutely glorious. She watched his chest, moving in and out with steady air. 

Alive. He was alive. He was breathing the same air as her. She couldn't hold it any more, and kissed him. Just like in the fairy tales, he woke. His eyes fluttered open, and she watched, half-dazed, smiling absent-mindedly. Her miracle was waking.

He smiled, and she smiled, if possible, even wider. Then he kissed her. Slowly, gently, as if not daring to press his luck too hard. Then she did something uncharacteristic. She kissed him hard, passionately, with everything she had. It startled him at first, but took it as it came. He ran his fingers up her back, and she wove hers in his hair. It might have carried on for quite a while longer, but they heard a noise and looked to it's source. 

Lulu stood in the doorway, eyebrows raised, and she chuckled a little. Yuna rolled over toward the doorway and both the cuddle-bugs on the bed looked up at Lulu, a little sheepishly. The shade of red on their faces almost matched. Wakka stood behind Lulu, his mouth wide open in amazement.

"Tidus. . how. . what. . how?" he was shocked and couldn't find anything to say. Tidus just smiled.

"Yuna. .. Dare I ask?" Lulu asked. She was suppressing laughter. They could both tell.

"Nothing happened!" Yuna said desperately, sitting up. "And if it did, I wouldn't be able to get any privacy, would I?" She raised and eyebrow and gave Lulu the best scowl she had to offer, which still wasn't very convincing because of her present mood.

Tidus sat up and leaned close to Yuna's back. "Is that an offer?" he asked. Lulu and Wakka both stood shocked, laughing a little. Yuna turned around and bit Tidus's neck. "Cheater," he pouted. 

Lulu watched intently, realizing how completely different Yuna was acting. She smiled. 

"Feeling better, then?" 

Yuna smiled and looked up at Lulu. "Never been better," she half-giggled.

* * * * *

An hour later, they were sitting in the kitchen. Tidus had told her all about the Farplane, how it was so lonely, sometimes. So orderly, so much different than one would expect heaven to be. And he told her about the road back to Spira. She hadn't interrupted him at all, and listened as he told her everything. The glass of water in his hands was untouched, and they had already eaten. Yuna held her own glass and sipped it quietly, as he told her the very last part of the story. About Ceres. About Yunalesca. About his return.

She continued staring into his face. "I remember it," she said, smiling a little.

"Remember what?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

"Helping you out of the maze. I thought it was a dream. A rather odd dream, but it kept me going, after all those months with no dreams of you. Dreams *from* you," they'd explained everything to each other. The weakness, the strength, everything. "The next day, I was okay. And then it hit me harder, and harder. Until yesterday."

"Are you seriously all better now?" Tidus asked. He walked over to her from his place, leaning by the sink. She looked down at him from her usual perch on the counter. She looked at him for a long while, considering the best way to say it.

"It's not wrenching anymore, but I still feel like something's missing. I'm sure I'll get fine with time. I'm still in awe that you gave up so much for me. Including those gloves," she chuckled. She seemed a bit more giddy, less serious, more ready to take chances. He smiled and answered by running his bare fingers down her bare arm.

She jumped down and they were so close, now, that if they moved forward at all, their faces would touch. Yuna placed her hands on his arms, and stared him straight in the eyes. He felt that she was looking into his soul, searching for something. She must not have found what she was looking for, because she kissed him. She kissed him so warm and deep and long that it made the oceans seem shallow and the storm outside silent. Yuna was his world now. 

She pulled away a little shyly. Moving her hands from their place around his neck, to his arms again. He brought his hands up to her face. He kissed her quickly once, then grabbed one of her hands and pulled her outside. 

"Tidus?" she asked, apparently puzzled. He looked at her, he looked into her the way she had looked into him. He threw his arms wide and looked at the sky. She looked up, too.

"See that, Yuna?" he asked.

"The sky?" she replied, unsure of what he was getting at. He took her hands and they faced each other. The rain was beating on them, humid and hot. They were both soaking already.

"Yes, the sky. The sky is nothing. It's tiny. It's nothing compared what I want," he was pretty sure he sounded dumb and selfish, but he didn't know how else to put it.

"And what is it that you want?" Yuna asked, looking at him water dripping off his nose and hair and running down his arms.

"When I was little, I wanted to be a Blitz star. And with that came girls. How many girls? I don't know. . ." he could sense a twinge of jealousy and frustration with this comment, "But then, just when I thought I had what I wanted, I came here. And I met the most beautiful, and wonderful, and all around everything-you-could-ever-want type of girl. Not by Zanarkand's standards, but by what everyone truly wants." She smiled, and he kissed her, just under the ear. "Yuna, I thought that I knew what I wanted, until I met you."

She tilted her head a little to one side. "You still haven't told me what you wanted," she said sheepishly, teasingly almost.

"You! I want to have children with you, I want to grow old with you, I want to be a father, I want to belong to someone. Yuna, I know that I don't have a ring, and I don't have any money. Hell, I don't have anything. But I have this," he pulled her hand up to his chest, and she could faintly feel his heart beating under the thin fabric of one of Wakka's borrowed shirts. "And I have time to live now. Yuna, would you have me?"

A few tears, mixed with rain, started sliding down her face. There in the rain, in the middle of the hot summer sky, he had just proposed. Proposed? Proposed! She couldn't stop crying now, and she clung to him. "Only if I can have you forever," she said. He looked down into her eyes and smiled.

"Okay, then. Forever," he agreed, quietly, leaning down towards her face.

"But," she interrupted before he could kiss her. "You said there were girls. So. . err. . Tidus, are you a. . .virgin?" she felt sheepish. She wondered if it mattered, but she would be kind of jealous if some adoring blitzball fan had gotten him before she did.

"I said there were girls, Yuna. I didn't say I took them," he smiled, kind of victorious that he had made her jealous. "Yeah, I am."

Yuna smiled. She knew he would never have admitted that to his friends in Zanarkand, and maybe it wasn't that big of a deal, but it sure made her happy. She kissed him. "It's a deal, then. We're stuck together forever."


	15. Life Goes On ::epilogue::

Epilogue ----

"Cation, please don't pick on your little sister. In fact, why don't you two go out and play, it's a nice day, you shouldn't be inside. Go start a game of blitzball," Yuna tried to hurry her eldest son out of the house. His brown-ish hair was unkempt, as with most boys, and his green and blue eyes so tell-tale of his mother.

Tidus walked down the stairs and grabbed their youngest, Miriana, from Yuna and kissed her gently.

"Ewww, kissing," Cation and his sister, Misora, said in unison and ran outside into the late-morning sun. "Game tonight, right? Do we have to take the kids?" she playfully whined, letting Miriana wrap her tiny hand around one of her fingers. 

Tidus laughed. "You think they'd let you make them stay home? You know how much they love watching."

"Almost as much as I do. But only when you're playing. You look good when you play," she raised an eyebrow flirtatiously. 

"And the fangirls agree," Tidus joked, and Yuna pulled her finger away from Miriana. 

"The fangirls don't decide whether or not you sleep on the couch," Yuna smiled, looking him in the eyes. 

"You know you can't resist me," he tried to look seductive, and failed almost-terribly. Especially with the child in his arms, he didn't look the part of a evil, conniving, seductive male. She laughed.

Yuna looked over the mail now that her hands were free, "Tidus, Rikku is getting married," she commented, giving him a sideways glance. 

"I think we started a trend. First us, then Wakka and Lulu, now Rikku is finally getting married. You would have thought she'd been married a long time ago," Tidus smirked. Yuna smiled. "We've been married almost six years now, right?"

"Don't tell me you have to ask. And six years is nothing. Rikku's still in her early twenties, and you're stuck with me forever, remember?" She said, kissing him lightly. 

"Being married isn't so bad. I'm just glad I'm not a girl," he smiled. "You had to carry this adorable display around for nine months, and I can just shove the kids off onto you when I want."

"It's not so bad carrying them around for nine months; you get a few months of me being grouchy and sick. Gives you time to think about if it's really worth it," she smiled. He just grinned and shrugged. Life was good.

That's not to say that they didn't get in their occasional argument, and it's not to say that he never messed up and had to sleep on the couch. But kissing and making up was never a problem, and sometime in the night, she'd go tug on his sleeve like a child to make him come back up to bed with her. Life wasn't perfect, but physically they still couldn't stand to be away from each other. And no matter where they were, they were never too far to know they were loved.

* * * * * *

A/N - I know, I know, unbearably mushy. But I just couldn't let it end. Leave me a review, PLEEEAAASSEEEE. .. . I just want to know how many people could stand it enough to read it this long. And some constructive criticism would be nice. But who the heck cares about my spelling. It's not a huge problem, so don't point out typos. I'm talking things like over-excessive ooc-ness, and things like lack of description, dumb plot, things that are VITAL to writing and can't be fixed by an editor.

Thanks so much for your patience and reading. Any and all flames will be disregarded and eaten by my fire-eating ferret who probably thinks you're stupid, too. ^^ have a nice day.


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